The Corporate Woman

This past weekend was wonderful!  My daughter turned six and I was so happy to see her light up with joy and excitement this weekend.  She had her party, which she enjoyed immensely.  We took her out to dinner and an evening show of the Nutcracker ballet for the first time, which she thought was neat.  She was amazed at all the little girl ballerinas.  She has always loved that story, so it helped make the ballet come alive for her.  Seeing the whole weekend through her eyes was so sweet and poignant.  What happy memories we made – and memories, that’s what we have of the past, isn’t it?  Even though those are imperfect things, those memories, it’s what gives us the grounding for our today’s. 

Do you ever think about how we shade our memories, how they are never quite the way something actually happened but still, they are all that we have?  I know how I remember this weekend… how will she?  What are the differences?  Do the differences matter? 

Trust me to get all introspective at moments like this, I suppose.  The joy of the holidays and the making of happy memories is so powerful to me.  I just want to savor every bit of it.

Tags: Family, Self-Clarity

This morning we learned that Shawn’s grandfather passed away.  He passed away in his sleep, apparently peacefully, which is a blessing.  It is sad but also good to note that he had a good life, long and rich (he was in his nineties).  He is survived by his wife and children.  This is the third death in the family this year (four if you count one of our kitties).  A sad year indeed.  It’s made me think a great deal about loss and how people respond. 

Another thing that has been on my mind has been the concept of a funereal.  It raises all sorts of questions – is it appropriate to take small children?  How much will the little one understand vs. simply be restive and anxious?  When my mom passed away, we were there and I gave my daughter the option on whether she wanted to see her Nana and say goodbye.  She chose to see her but I would have been fine with either choice she could have made.   Either way, it is always a hard thing to go through for the adults and the children.  Probably one of the reasons I don’t want a funereal – I want an old-fashioned wake.  I want my friends and family to celebrate the memories.  Joy vs. solemn – that’s my choice.  What’s yours?

Tags: Family, Self-Clarity

Yes, it is that time of year.  Do you dread it or love it?  Me, I love it.  I enjoy the long weekend for Thanksgiving as a chance to celebrate and give thanks but also it is time to put up the tree (one of my favorite parts).  Our tree is a collective experience.  It makes me wonder how other people do their tree – is it a never changing thing, a new theme every year or a gradual build (like mine)?  Years ago, I gave in to my love of Victoriana on trees and set a theme.  Our tree is a lovely nine footer, filled with beautiful Victorian ornaments collected in reds, pinks, creams, golds & silver.  Every year, I buy a few new ones to add to the tree and love that process as well.  It’s almost like greeting an old friend each time it goes up.  My husband loves the tree so much that we have an ongoing discussion after New Years as to when it can actually come down.  Yes, we are one of those… the earliest I think it ever came down was Valentines.  The latest was early May.  As you can imagine, we get lots of compliments on the tree but also lots of eye rolls and good humored digs.  I think that Shawn would keep the tree up year round, if he could.  Me, I like to put it away (eventually) and greet it again after Thanksgiving… I think it means a bit more to me that way.  But yes, I like to keep up for longer than the typical season as well.  I have to wonder if we are the only ones…

Tags: Family, Self-Clarity

Earlier this year, I talked about it being time for change – how do you decide?  How do you know it’s time?  Well, my family and I decided it was time when an opportunity to go work for Citrix Online came open in my field.  What a great company, really smart and talented people and a great desire for being ever more customer focused.  My family loves living in beautiful Santa Barbara vs. living north of Seattle in Bothell.  Change like this often feels like a leap of faith - you weigh your options, check your gut, agonize with friends and family (okay, maybe that last one is only me) and then decide.  You really don’t know until you actually make the choice though, do you?

Well, this choice lets me know that 20/20 hindsight is calling this a great choice.   More to come on the questions of customer loyalty and driving improvements in customer experience in the next blog.

Take care and stay tuned!

Tags: Authenticity, Change, Family, Self-Clarity

My mother passed away on Friday.  I feel sad but also happy and at peace.  You see, she has been terribly ill for a very long time and we who loved her have watched her decline in an anxious miasma of sadness and helplessness.  The thought that continues to reverberate through my brain is that she isn’t hurting anymore.  For the first time in a very long time, her life is not defined by pain. 

It has made me think a great deal about the nature of pain (great and small) and what we choose to endure.  My mother often talked about her reasons for fighting to stay in this life, despite the pain.  She was quite clear on that.  And I wonder, what does it take to have that clarity regarding other choices in our lives?  What helps us to decide that this is an acceptable situation and that is not? 

I am proud of my mother for the fight she put up and for her strength to stop fighting when she chose her time.  I miss her.  She will always be a part of me and I am glad to carry those lessons in my heart and my life.  I am happy that she knew, always, not just at the end, how much she means to me and how much I love her.  How fortunate I am.  That’s a thought to remember and makes the pain of her loss somehow less. 

 For those of you have expressed your condolences, thank you.

Tags: Authenticity, Change, Family, Self-Clarity

I am fascinated with why people change.  How many of you change from the gut?  How many of you change based on logical decision making tools?  I would be willing to be that change starts in the gut (or the heart, you pick) but you use logic to support the decision.  I say this because this is the time of year that many look at their lives and make New Year’s resolution.  But where do those go?  How do we handle the guilt for not meeting those commitments?  How do we decide to commit ourselves to that spiral of guilt and need?

I decided not to make a New Year’s resolution this year.  Instead, I thought about what in my life made me unhappy and out of those things,  what do I have the power to change.  And out of that list, what did I actually want to do.  It was an interesting process.  More head, less gut.  I felt better about what I decided to focus on in my life though – not some action but what was important to me and what I want to do in that arena.

So, here’s hoping you have a wonderful New Year!

Tags: Self-Clarity

This time of year often brings the introspective urge to the forefront.  I really love this time of year, the time I get to spend with my family and the fun I get in putting up the tree.  The thoughfulness though… that makes me look back on the year and myself.  What could I have done better or differently?  Did I do what I wanted to do with my life and career this year?  What should I do differently? 

So far, I’ve decided that I am ready for a new challenge.  I’ve really enjoyed the challenges of the past two years and have accomplished a lot of what I set out to do but now, now there is something missing, something more that I want to do.  Now, the fun part is deciding what that might be!

How many of you are thinking the same thing?

-T

Tags: Balance, Self-Clarity