Knowing that the holidays were coming (even bigger in our house because my daughters birthday is in the mix).  Knowing we were going to have loads of company.  And, we had lots of change going on at work - I needed to do something to give myself the space to recharge – so I broke up (temporarily) with Twitter and my blog and other stuff of similar ilk.  And it worked.  I kept my balance, my energy, my focus and really was able to enjoy my loved ones as well.

Now that the holidays are over, I’m able to take up the digital reins again while walking the line between my E and I self.  I hope all of you had lovely holidays and are feeling freshly energetic in the new year.

So my side note of the moment – why do I get stuck inside my own head sometimes and why do I let it lead me astray?  Here’s the thing – I’m on a journey to become more healthy, sustainably healthy.  Not a diet, not a workout now and drop it later but real change.  As a result, I want to feel better, more energized, lose some weight, be stronger and set a good example of a healthy lifestyle for my daughter.  Be the change I wish to see in the world (and in her).  Thank you, Ghandi. 

I’ve made progress (lost 12 inches, given up fast food and soda, very limited food in that comes from boxes or cans – start fresh, dropped a size and working out on a very regular basis).  Turns out that I am loving the change but somehow, I’m still not happy enough with my progress.  Crazy right?  I think it is the evil scale in the corner of my bathroom.  It haunts me with it’s mocking digital readout that states that for all the change, I still have only managed seven pounds. 

I’d like to do the sane thing and chuck the scale, truly I would.  But, I am number kind of gal and while the measurements are great, some part of me still thinks the scale is a key metric I can’t do away with.  So, sad to say but it is not the scale, it is me, standing in my way in my head.  I can’t revel in how much good I’ve done so far because all I can see is what I haven’t done.  Thoughts? Comments?  Stories?  Cheery support?  Let me know what you think.  And thanks for joining me on my Side Note!

1)  Am I sleeping better?  You betcha.  I not only sleep better, I dream more.  Go figure on that one… or perhaps I just remember my dreams even more.

2) Is my husband sleeping better?  Yes indeed.  If anything, the total silence when I sleep is a bit concerning for him.  He has yet to adjust and still checks to see if I am actually breathing now and again.

3) Am I breathing better overall? Yes, I am.  It still feels a bit odd to actually be breathing on both sides of my nose but I am doing much better.

4) Do I have more energy? Oh yes… I haven’t had this much energy in years.  Must be a combo of more oxygen in my blood and better sleep but I am loving it.  I feel like my energy level has improved significantly.

5) Would I recommend the surgery to others? Yes I would.  It hurt more than I thought going in (and I thought it would be bad) but it was worth every bit.  I genuinely wish I had done this sooner. 

As a reminder, I had the “snoring surgery” and repair for a severely deviated septum at the same time.  The two together is what resulted in more pain than I anticipated.  For those who are going for one or the other, the recovery should be easier.  Throw in the fact that I lost five pounds during the recovery, which was a lovely added bonus. 

This makes excellent progress on my personal goals for the year.

What I wonder about is the thread of small, angry voices I hear on the web.  Why?  Is it fear that causes some to rant and say others deserve such awful reversals of fortune?  Is it spite or small mindedness?  Self-righteousness and smug insensitivity?  I guess I just don’t get it.  Yes, some are in their current situations due to unwise choices.  I don’t know about you but I’ve made more than a few “unwise choices” in my life and had to live with those consequences.  This doesn’t mean that I don’t feel for them though.  It doesn’t mean that I take pleasure or feel smug about their situation.  I know I am not alone in this because I read and hear those voices too – the wondering ones who feel empathy and are thankful for what they have.

Each day, I will live in joy (for my good fortune) and fear (that it might somehow go awry) and empathy (for those who have lost so much).  I suspect, this is how my year will go.  How about you?