Mar 19
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I admit to fear and to worry and to doubt.  I am fortunate in these times of fear and uncertainty, where many are suffering the most dramatic and awful change of their lives.  I am thankful, every day, for what I have:  my good health (and health insurance), my loved ones (and their good health), my great job (that I am lucky to love) and the basics we all need (food, shelter, etc…).  My heart goes out to those who are suffering because I remember earlier days where a roof over my head was uncertain, not much food (so thankful for free school lunch programs) and no health insurance (or money for much needed medicines, like my asthma inhaler).  I remember and my heart cries out for them.

What I wonder about is the thread of small, angry voices I hear on the web.  Why?  Is it fear that causes some to rant and say others deserve such awful reversals of fortune?  Is it spite or small mindedness?  Self-righteousness and smug insensitivity?  I guess I just don’t get it.  Yes, some are in their current situations due to unwise choices.  I don’t know about you but I’ve made more than a few “unwise choices” in my life and had to live with those consequences.  This doesn’t mean that I don’t feel for them though.  It doesn’t mean that I take pleasure or feel smug about their situation.  I know I am not alone in this because I read and hear those voices too – the wondering ones who feel empathy and are thankful for what they have.

Each day, I will live in joy (for my good fortune) and fear (that it might somehow go awry) and empathy (for those who have lost so much).  I suspect, this is how my year will go.  How about you?

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Mar 13
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Okay, I admit it, I am new to the social media whirl.  I am an admitted party wallflower – sociable and gregarious in compact and focused settings but throw me into a party of strangers and watch me cringe.  I spend more wondering what to say, trying to remember my “hmmmm, that’s interesting” questions and trying to determine what the polite time to leave is, that I never get to the actual enjoying part.  Sad, is it not?

So why would I be willing to plunge into the social media merry-go-round with so many I don’t know (and some that I do)?  Think of it like therapy.  If I can come up with interesting things to say that total strangers could possibly enjoy without thinking me entirely untenable, I might, just might, get more confidence and comfort level on the in person thing.  I also get the chance to learn interesting (and sometimes not so interesting) things, which is good, because I love to learn.

So where did I take the plunge, you ask?  Well, I chose Twitter (@TabithaDunn) and Facebook.  Twitter because it seemed the most challenging and Facebook because my friends seem to inexplicably hear a bellwether that caused them to migrate there.  So, after some polite social pressure, I caved and joined.  Now I have friends and tweeps.  I am even slowly collecting followers, which may or may not mean anything, depending on who you ask.  <grin>

What about you?  Have you taken the plunge?  If so, where did you dive?

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Mar 02
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My view of my septoplasty and the snoring surgery.  For those of you who don’t know me, I was born with a severely deviated septum, with only a tiny opening in the right side of my nose.  For me, this is normal.  Little did I know that it is part of why I have low energy levels and don’t seem to get enough rest, even after a good nights sleep.  The nose actually needs both sides to work right and properly oxygenate you.  After years of dreading the surgery pain, I finally decided that my gift of better living to myself this year would be breathing better.  I do one of these every year – for example, one year I gave up soda, another fast food, another caffeine.  Each a step towards changing my lifestyle to a healthier one.

Last week I took the plunge and had the surgery.  The rest is about this week and how it went.  Here’s a little spoiler warning – for those who really don’t want the details, just know that everything is going well in my recovery and stop here.  For those who really would like to know, here goes (don’t say I didn’t warn you):

My surgery was last week Monday morning.  It started with a lot of waiting and no book to read for half of it.  For those of you who know me, this is a bad situation to be in.  I laid there on the table, staring at the ceiling drop tiles and found myself thinking all sorts of what if scenarios.  The people at the Santa Barbara Surgery Center were great – patient, pain sensitive and supportive. 

As promised, I didn’t feel them taking the breathing tube out after the surgery.  I did wake scared though – I couldn’t breathe without concious effort and I hurt like mad.  I had my first warning of how it was to be when she gave me some pain medicine to swallow and it hurt even more.  Not a good sign when you are in pain and it hurts even more to take the medicine.   After waiting in recovery, Shawn carefully brought me home.  I prayed for sleep that wouldn’t come.  I could doze for ten to fifteen minutes at a time and then wake up and spit out blood. 

The next couple of days brought me lots of lost blood.  So much so that I began to worry that it was too much, despite what the doctor said I was losing what he expected.  The packing came out on Tuesday and that was a shock and a relief.  All I could take was water. 

Thursday, I tried food.  An egg.  And I was successful in keeping it down.  Hooray!  Try to take joy in the little things.  I’ve been living off one egg a day and a small bit of applesauce.  The good news is that I’m not actually hungry and I am losing weight.  So there is a side benefit to all of this.

The good news today is that the internal splints came out of my nose.  Very little pain and suddenly its an amazing how much more I can breathe through my nose.  The sharp pain in my throat should start to recede in another couple of days, so food may be back in my near future.  If all continues to go well, I should be just about fully healed this time next week. 

Was it worth it? (I know you’re going to ask.)  I’m going to go with yes at this point.  I breathe better and I am not snoring either.  I suspect that I will also get the benefits of sleeping better (once the pain goes away) and having more energy.  Everything worked just like my doctor told me.  I have to admit to some fear and regret that I experienced on the first couple of days.  I was so miserable and exhausted that I did wonder why I did this to myself.

Tonight I go back to sleeping horizontally, rather than the prescribed 30 degree angle.  Tonight I will get to sleep breathing through my nose.  And last, certainly not least, tonight my husband will come back to bed, since sleeping at that angle was too hard on him.  So lots of good things tonight and I am starting to feel human once again.

Would I recommend this to others?  (Just in case you ask.)  I think yes… not entirely sure since I haven’t reaped all the benefits yet (still early days) but yes, I would.